"Help Me" Made Me Cry

This post contains spoilers for the House MD episode "Help Me" (Season 6, Episode 22) and the next episode

https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Help_Me_(House)

https://house.fandom.com/wiki/Help_Me

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Hanna

House: "You asked me how I'd hurt my leg. I had a blood clot, and the muscle was dying. I had all these doctors telling me I should amputate and I said no, and they did this very risky operation. I almost died." Hanna: "But you saved your leg." House: "I wish I hadn't. They cut out a chunk of muscle about the size of my fist, and they left me with this mutilated, useless thing. I'm in pain. Every day. And it changed me. Made me a harder person. A worse person. And now, now I'm alone. You don't wanna be like me. You've got a husband who loves you, you have friends, you can start a family. You have a life. And this; this is just a leg."

The woman trapped under the collapsed building was Hanna. They couldn't free her leg from the rubbles. In fact, she's been there for 2 hour when House found her, which was already a miracle.

First House risked his life to search for people under the building by crawling inside a tunnel formed by the collapsed building. Hanna was scared, her body covered in dust, besides her leg she was not doing so well. She made house to promise they wouldn't amputate and would try to save her leg instead.

I think this situation reminded House of his own leg, and that's why initially he stood up for Hanna's wishes, despite it could endanger more people and could kill Hanna.

House is the Master Deflector, he deflects when his friends try to help hiim and ask him personal questions. Even after Mayfield he's still not comfortable talking about himself to Nolan, his therapist, but he already made huge progress by exressing the wish to get better and seeking the help.

At first he asked for Hanna's name, to gauge her mental status. When he came back for her for the 2nd time, she asked for House's name but House didn't gave it to him, that's how much House hates to get personal.

From House Wiki:

The emergency personnel can't lift the concrete trapping Hanna because there is too much rubble on top of it. Cuddy tries to talk the woman into an amputation because by the time they clear the rubble, she will be too ill to be treated. However, House is opposed. Cuddy points out crush syndrome is likely if they don't free her soon. House wants the emergency personnel to keep digging instead. The fire captain is worried that there will be further collapse or gas explosions. However, Cuddy finally sides with the patient. House promises the patient he won't let them cut off the leg.

House tells them he's coming back to the hospital and tells Hanna he's going to leave her to the other emergency personnel.

However, Hanna has a panic attack and she wants House to return. Cuddy tells him to go back to keep her calm enough to treat her.

House returns and starts treating the patient. He gives her his phone so she can call her husband while he takes her blood pressure. It has spiked and is causing more bleeding from her leg wound. He tells her not to do anything to raise her blood pressure, like talking to her husband. She asks what's wrong with his leg, and he says a crane fell on it. He won't pray with the patient because he doesn't believe in god. She says she doesn't believe in God either, although she says she does believe good things happen to people who do good things. House says he used to believe that, but he doesn't know anymore.

A secondary collapse happened when they try to free her leg, and the 4 or 5 people there with Hanna were lucky to be alive.

The fireman reports that there is more debris on top of Hanna now and it will take at least five hours to free her. Cuddy insists on amputation but House has a plan to treat the crush syndrome to keep her going. Cuddy thinks its crazy, but House insists he's the only one who knows what a leg is worth. He tells the fire captain he will testify on Hanna's behalf if they amputate because it's his decision, not Cuddy's. Cuddy asks to speak to House privately. She thinks it's about her. They get into an argument about her relationship with Lucas. She finally walks away, but turns and asks why he's going to risk the patient's life to save her leg. She reminds him that saving his leg didn't help his life. She's going to convince Hanna to agree to the amputation and asks House to stay out of it.

However, Hanna won't agree to it. She says she's not in pain. House finally shows up and tells Hanna he agrees with Cuddy - her time has run out. He tells her about how he got his leg disability. They did risky surgery to save his leg, but it's missing a huge piece of muscle and is barely usable. It made him miserable and alone. She can still have a life, but trying to save the leg will mean she will lose it. She finally agrees. House tells Cuddy he will do the surgery.

House gives her a painkiller, but can't give her anesthetic. He tells her about the procedure and what she can expect and that it will hurt like nothing she's ever felt before. He grabs a scalpel to start cutting through the skin and muscle, then switches to a bone saw. Hanna starts screaming. However, she's free in no time and she's taken away to be treated for shock and to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband arrives on site and starts reassuring her. House gets into the ambulance with them for the trip to the hospital. He leaves his cane behind, hanging from a piece of steel rebar.

And they got her out, put her on an ambulance with House and her husband.

Hanna: I'm Sorry, I know how much you love my legs.

Husband said no, he didn't care about the legs (in that way). He seemed to be very caring.

House noticed the fat embolism on their way to the hospital and sits back, staring into the blank. The husband was very worried and House told her she was dead, and they held hands for the last moment in her life. Wasn't his fault.

I don't know if he blamed himself, but took a major hit emotionally because of Hanna's death.

He told Foreman to stay out of his way, and went to his apartment, staring at the mirror (he looked scary) and lifted it up and smashed it, and reached for the Vicodin stash behind the mirror.

He's been off the drug for a while but the (emotional) pain was too much for him, and he took out 2 pills, hesitated about if he should take them.

House was known to be self destrutive and has O.D.'d before, and if Cuddy didn't show up (that was the 2nd miracle), he'd likely die.

Cuddy

There was a scene where they were playing a spelling game, and House spelled out 'ilobeyou'.

THey've stayed for quite a while and Cuddy has to go to work. And House did this thing again.

I don't think this is gonna work. [I was bad because ...]. Tell me any of those is not true.

He did this to Stacy and pushed her away before, it was unbelievable. He told close friend(s) he was better off alone, and deny that he was miserable.

The night before at the rescure, Cuddy told him that everyone was moving on, only he got nothing, alone and miserable. I think the words hit House and that was what he thought about when he was staring into the mirror, looking at his miserable self, barely recognizing himself.

I'm not sure if Cuddy's heart dropped when she heard that, but she was very composed.

They went back to the sofa to talk. That was when Cuddy said this:

And House had this face that we've never seen before. He didn't expect this at all. He was trying to think very hard. And he told her that he loved her for the first time, and Cuddy gave her Cuddy smile behind the closed door.

House was so lighten up and Wilson had to test him for drugs.