Fusion

Fusion

Noun - The state of being so closed to another person that you forget how you live before meeting that person.

As mentioned here, I was fused and attached, and I stopped being me, stopped being that interesting, and I was very clingy (physical touch is my love language), and I became controlling.

Before the relationship, I always had a plan for the weekends, and I was taking the lead (which was attractive, according to people, because you shouldn't put the burden of deciding the restaurant or making travel plan on her, they say).

But I changed. I let her do all the planning, and I think I missed out a lot when traveling in SEA because I had to follow her and didn't have my own plan.

When you lived with someone for so long and the person decided you shall no longer be part of her life in any capacity, it was unimaginable.

She said I was depending on her too much, and I was. I was.

She was actually surprised that I could assemble my bed frame alone. Come on, never did it before doesn't mean I can't do it, I'm good at so many things other than messing with computers.

I was very messed up. I didn't have my life together. Every day was hard, I distracted myself with things and I took making through eachh day as a win, because I needed this.

I learned new things, found new interests, met new people, and I tried to take better care of myself, make myself more presentable and am working on my people skills, curious to see where this can take me.

Reading books and talking to people allowed me to put the past under new perspectives.

We're all wounded creatures, we're all broken in some way, but what set some of us apart is that they are inspired to do uncomfortale things in order to make changes in their lives, and I'm proud to be one of them.

There's so much for me to explore, and I'm excited to see where it takes me.